The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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