Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Welp...herpes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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