at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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