I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize