I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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