You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize