The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize