I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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