I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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