So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize