you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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