It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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