Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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