Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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