omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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