I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize