he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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