Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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