Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
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My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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