I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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