I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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