Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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