I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize