i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize