if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize