you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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