I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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