I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i'm inner monologue high
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize