Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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