You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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