i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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