Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize