I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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