You're my little dorito
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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