Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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