dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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