Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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