Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize