Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize