im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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