I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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