he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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