Pants 0. Shit 1.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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