"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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