Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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