so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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