I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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