i wish my penis had a tongue
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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