Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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