he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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